Struggling with Self-Discipline ūü§™?

Struggling with Self-Discipline?  In life?  With your finances? You are not alone.

  • "I will make a game time decision based on how I feel."
  • "I just don't feel like doing...."
  • "I'm feeling really resistant to _____. So yea, it's a no for me."
  • "My body is giving me a firm 'no'."

Have you ever heard people say these or versions of these?

Have you ever said them?

I know I have.

And I know it is time to do some more integration on not allowing my beautiful Body to run the show 100% of the time.  Not in my personal nor professional life.

Definitely not in my financial life.

Let me share my story with you to see if you can relate.

Where I Have Been

After spending the first, oh 33 years or so being a highly disciplined soul in all areas of my life.  I graduated from both HS and Uni with honors, in all the activities and sports.  College I did actually in 3.5 years WITH a semester abroad in Spain. Post-college I did slow down a bit, mostly because I struggled with finding a career path. I could go on 5-6 hours of sleep, because missing my morning quiet time and workout were not an option. I believed that sleep was for when you were dead.   I added side-hustles, certificates in the fitness world and triathlons (both coaching and participating) to my schedule.  Because I had time and...discipline.

By the time I hit the end of my marriage - I was WORN OUT.  Between running my body and soul so hard; being in a toxic marriage and life filled with people-pleasing, co-dependency and abuse; and not realizing how much trauma I had had as a child - my nervous system was SPENT.  I spent the next few years sick literally every couple of weeks.  I couldn't commit to much.

Then I found the somatic, body based practice of Conscious Dance and the community that went along with it.  In these communities, I was encouraged to "drop out of my head" and allow my body to speak to me.  And follow the impulses of what my body wanted - or didn't want to do.

In short I went from a "follow-through-with-your-word" Mid-Westerner to a flakey California - with the excuse that I was "just listening and following my body wisdom".  (Side Note: I have seen this "flakey California" vibe seep out to the rest of the US too...)

I allowed the chaos of my Feminine Energy run the show.  Most of the time.  For the last 8 years or so.

And it was NEEDED!

Until it was't.

I knew at times that this way of thinking and living "loosey goosey" was perhaps going to stop me from really being able to pursuing my dreams of financial freedom and birthing all I desire to birth with Movement Medicine.

Yet, I was not willing to jump back into that HARD PUSH, PUSH, PUSH that drove me to illness for a few years.  And most likely has also affected my peri-menopause journey.

So I have been playing with this idea of Self-Discipline this last year or so.  Strengthening the Will of my Masculine energy in order to gently coax my Free-flowing Feminine Energy that had been running the show.  It has been coming and going for months.

Today, as I listened into Teal Swan's video (below) on this subject - I was convicted about my own stance on "body wisdom" masking my "flakiness".  Then I recalled guiding us in class last night's class for Movement Medicine Nashville to "move in a way that felt uncomfortable...and get comfortable in that uncomfortableness." Then I recalled a few other comments that came up at our Community dinner that pointed me to write this post.

Because being in the Body doesn't mean being ruled by the body's whims.  That is not spiritual.  That is not wise.  That is not healthy.

Being ruled by our feelings is stopping half-way to becoming an Emotional Intelligent adult.

YES, we need to take time to be in our feeling body, learn what it is saying to us.  Which MIGHT be, "don't do this, it will not benefit you."

Or as Teal shares - it might just be a warning bell for you to tune in deeper to move through some truama, resistance, change a belief, etc.

When it comes to money ~ being ruled by our feelings will keep us in the fear/greed dynamic that the subject of money brings out in us.

Fear of not having enough.  Fear of losing what we have.  Fear of survival.  Fear that keeps us burying our head in the sand, denying the power of money so that it has unconscious power over us. Fear that keeps us saying "the law of attraction will bring it in" but then not doing the actual work that allows that money to come in. Fear that keeps us from learning how money and the economy work - or why capitalism IS both natural and evolutionary law.  Fear of money that keeps us from birthing our passion projects into the world.

All these fears, and more, then swing us to the other end of the pendulum - greed.

Greed leads us to believe others should give us what they have worked for.  Greed makes us horde.  Greed makes us become like children - dependent on others to provide for us - instead of full fledged adults that take responsibility for our own lives.

In Robert Kiyosaki's book Rich Dad, Poor Dad - he mentions that learning to manage these emotions - instead of being ruled by them was one of Rich Dad's first lessons.

Why?

Because Rich Dad knew that if Robert couldn't learn how to allow his emotions infuse his choices instead of make them for him, he knew Robert would end up poor.  No matter how much money Robert accumulated in his life.

Because money doesn't make you know how to be the master of your emotions.  It can only reflect to you your internal beliefs.  And being at the whim of our emotions of fear and greed will make us poor.

Rich Dad taught this lesson to Robert in the 1950s.  Not in church, but in the school of real life.  Before the current "conscious" movement that has us learning about our emotions and becoming emotionally intelligent came about.

A movement that currently often feels like it forgets "listening to the body wisdom" is only half of becoming an Emotionally Intelligent adult.

While body wisdom is crucial to being a fully integrated soul living in a body - being controlled by the whims and traumas of the body are not wise.  It takes self-discipline to know the difference.  

The body being uncomfortable is not the only awareness we need to have.  Being uncomfortable also means there is a possibility to become more aware of myself.  To grow.  In Consciousness.  To change my habitual patterns of being.  Especially if I want to achieve my goals for my intimate, personal and professional life - and not just be blown by the wind (i.e. my body's feeling state in the moment).

Being ROOTED in a financial foundation that will provide financial freedom will take self-discipline to use the mind and the body in harmony together.  One is the compass, the other is the map.  We need both together to move.  To create the Emotional Intelligence (EI) we need to integrate the Financial Education you will get in this community.  It will take Self-Discipline to say "No" to something you really want right now - in order to have something you want even greater that is not here yet.

And because the "flakey California" vibe is a bit, no it is a lot like Spiritual By-Passing.

How?

Because we LIVE ON EARTH.  IN BODIES.  The point of this game is to manifest in 3D from the energy world of our desires, imaginations and perhaps even fantasies.

This takes discipline to listen deeply to what the body is saying - then matching it up to what the Soul is asking of us.

Teal Swan says all of this so beautifully in the video below.

FINAL NOTE

Whether you work with me on your financial home or move with me in community - I will be keeping an eye on this Spiritual/EI practice for myself - and you.  Holding the container of what might not feel comfortable - and investigating what is behind that discomfort.  Much as Teal talks about in this video, we will move together with an eye towards integrating the body wisdom with self-discipline to bring forth our intentions, desires, goals.

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